“okay, start recording” “can i help the next guest please? uh, hello, sir, welcome to starbucks, what can i get for you?” “Y̵̛͜͢E̷A̴̡͘͝H̢͘̕ ̶̵̢̢͠Ç̶҉͠A̧͞N̕͡ ͜͟I̶̢͠ ̸͘G͟͝È̴̡͟T̨̛͠҉̛ ̀͘A͢͞ ̴̵M̴̴̢̀Ò͜͝Ţ̨͏̨H̷́É̡͜͠Ŕ̷F̡̧̧̛U҉͟͜C̢̡͏̸̢K̸͘͡͝Í̵Ń̢͡҉G̶̕͡ ̷̶̷҉U͜H́̕͢H̷̢̨̛H̢̨͏H̴̛͡҉Ḩ͡H͞͞-͞͏̕” [mic cuts off] “ḨH̨̛͠͝Ḩ͜͢͜H͏҉͜͝H̵̴̀҉H̡̛̀H̀҉̨͞H̶̕͢͠H̷̡̀͢H̡́͜͠H̸̨̧͜H͠҉H̕̕H̛̀̀͝H̀́͠H̵̢̨̀͢H̢̨͢H̢͘H̴̶̛H̸͝͠͠H҉̕H҉̢͜͠H̵̴H̕͢͠H̢͘͝͞H̸̕͟͡H̶̛͘H̶̡͜͟͡H҉҉͏̷H̷̡͢͠͝H̷̡͘H̶̴͝͏H̴͘H͜͡H̨҉̨̕͝H̀͠H̛͟H҉̴͟͠H̡͘͢H̴̛͢͠H̵́͞͠H̴̀H̸͟͡͡H̨̨͢͟H͠͏H͞͞H̢̨͘͞͠H̡͞H̨́̕͜H̨̡̨҉H̸͘͞͠H̶͢͟H҉̛͡҉H̨̕B̶̢̛͠͠U̢̨͜R̢͟͡͡҉G̡̨͝E̛͟͠R̸̵̛” [laughter] “sir, we don’t sell burgers here.” “Ẁ̡̛͠H͘҉͏͏͞A̶͜T̢̢̡̀͢ ̡͢D͏̛͞O҉ ̶͘͠Y҉̢̨̕͜Ó͠͠U̢̧͜ ҉̢̛͢͠M͏̷̀Ȩ́̀͡ĄŅ̸̢͜ ͢͟͡҉͏Y̵̶͜͢O̴͡Ư ̸͟͞͠D̢̕͝͠O̡͡͠͞Ņ̀͡T͘͢ ͜͢S͡È͡҉-̧͠” [mic cuts off again] “we sell- we sell paninis and breakfast sandwiches.” “OH MY CARDIAC ARREST” “Y͏͏̀O҉̸̀U̧͢͟ ̵̢̨͜͢T̵̛̛H̸҉̧I̵̢N҉̶̕͟K̵҉ ́͘҉҉I̶͏̴ ́҉K҉̴͡N̡̡̛O͢Ẁ͜͡͝ ͢W͘҉͟H̶̴́͢͢À͝T͜͟ ̷̨͘A̕ ͏̡͟͡P̨̕҉̶̡Á̡҉N̸͝͡Í̸̡͠N҉҉͟͢͞Ì̧͢ ̶̡̢͘͡Í́͟͜S̢͞ l̶͏̀̕ļ͏̶l̶̨̛͡҉l͘̕͞͠l̷̡͞l̡͟l̸̨̕͡ĺ̢͠l̸̛͜l̀̀̕͠ĺ͏̛͟ļ̶̶̛͜l̀͘̕͢l̶̨l͟ļ̸̨l̵̨̧l҉҉͞ļ̵̕l̴̶l̷͠͠͞l̸̨̡̀͢l̷͘͢͞” [even more laughter] “J̶̨̧̧U͟͢S͏̛̕̕͝Ţ̶ ̴̶̷̛͘G̢͝Í̵̢M̷͢͟͠M̸̀͘͢E̛͠ ̸̡A̵̡͞͞͞ ̸̸̸B̛͝U҉̨̛͞R̨̀Ģ͟É͢͡R̶̷͟ ̧̨̕͟E͝͝͏͞X̵̀͢T̵͘R̀́͢͞Á̧́͞҉ ̷͜͟C͢͡H͏̶͏̢E̡͘͢͞͡E͢͏̶́̕S̶͡É̸͟͢҉ ҉̨͡l҉͜͠͏l͝͝͡͏͡l҉̸̧͜l̷̴̷͝l̨̛͢͠l̸̷͡ĺ̡̛ļ̸͜l̷̵̛͜͝l̡͘̕l͢҉̡ĺ͡l̷̛ĺ͏͏l̵̴̨͘͠l̸̡͜͜” “no, we don’t have burger extra cheese, we have paninis and b-” “D̵̨͜͞҉-̢͡͠ ͠҉N̷͝Ơ̧͝ ̶͘Y͢҉̢͞O͏̡̧́U҉̨ ̢̡D̷̸̡̛Ò̀͠N͢Ţ̵̷͘͟ ̕͏U҉̛Ņ̴̷̷͡D̨̀͞͡Ę̴̕R͢͝͠S̀͠Ţ̶͘A̴͜N̛͞D͜͟ ̸̨͢҉I̵̧͘̕ ̸̕̕N̴̨͢͜E̡E̢͢D͏̸͜͞͠ ҉̷T͟H͟͠Í̧̢̡͜S҉͏ ̶͢͜͡l̨̕͡l̷̛̕͝ļ̵̧͢͟l̵̢̕͢ĺ̴̵͝͠l̵͜͟͝͝ĺ̷̶ļ̵̡̡͜ĺ͠l̢͡͠ĺ̶l̸̴l̸͝l̡͘͟͏͠l̷҉͘l̡̢̕͞l̵͜͝l̶̢̢̢͢l̨̢͞l̸̴͟ļ̸l̶̡͘͠” “NO” “sir, i’m gonna have to ask you to get out if you dont want anything” (transcribed to best ability) [discord noise] “W͢͢҉̴H͏̨͠͞Y҉̵͜ ̶̛À̷̧͡͞R̵̡͝È̢ ̷̨̀͝Y̷̸̶̴O͏̨̛͡Ú̶̢̨͘ ̶̴́͘̕K̕͠Ę̸̸̕͢Ȩ͟͠P̨͟҉Į̸̀̕̕N͟͡҉G̷̛͞͝͏ ̨̢̧͜͟T͟H͜͡͠I̵͏͠͝Ş͘͟͏̡ ̡A̸͢ ̶͡S̸͝҉̷͡E̡͏̸̧C҉́R̛̀E̛͜͝T̛͘͏͠ ̷̷̛͠͡F̴́R҉̨̀́͘Ơ̵̴͘͢M̡̧̛̕͠ ̷T̵H̷͏̴͝Ę̸̴͝ ̵͠͠P̸̴̧̀Ú͝͝҉͟B̸̴̀L̢̀͘͢I̴̛Ç̴̸͜” “what, in the hell did i walk into” [more laughter and people dying] “WHAT HAPPENED, HOLD ON, HOLD ON” “can i get you a caramel macchiato?” “-̷̧͠-̧́͘B̴̴̀E̸̵͏ ̛̕I̷̷̶̴͘ ̸̶̢́͟H̶A̶̢̕͢͢V̴͘E͢͡ ̶̶͜A̢͜ ̶̡́͢B̶̨̕͜U̕͠͠R̨̛̀͠Ģ̵̶͜E̶̷R̀̕ ̀͜E̵̷̵X̨͢͝T̴̢̧̀͞R̶̨̨̡A҉̷̕͏̶ ̶̸D̴͟I̷͢P̷̧̨̀͡D̵̷͘͘T̴̨͡H̀͟ ̶̛͡҉ĺ̵̴̛̀l̨͡͝l̛͜l͜͠l̵̡̡͡͡ĺ̴̴̢̨l̴҉l̨͜͝l̨̡ļ̸̡̧͜l͝͝l̡͟l҉̧̕l̷̢l̵̡l̨̕l̀͢͡l̷̶̀l̨̡͠l҉̕͘͘͢l̛͘͠͡ĺ̨̨͡͡l̴̕͟ļ̴̛̀͜l҉̶̡͘͠l̕͟͠͡l̨̛̀͠҉l̕͘̕͝͠ļ̡̡̛͞” “WE DONT HAVE ONE-” “OH MY GOD THE VOICE CHANGER REALLY” [insert big smoke’s order] “SIR, THIS IS A STARBUCKS, NOT A MCDONALDS-” “D̴̨҉̷U̴̶͏D̀̀͘͟È ̴̧͘͢Ỳ̸̸͝͡O͜͡Ų͏҉́ ̵̡͘͘T̨͞Ò͟O̶͘͝K҉̸̵͘͜ ̨́͡͠M̴̨̨͏Ỳ̷̶̕͞ ̀́M̶̷̛͘̕O̡̧Ņ̴E͏̵́͢͢Y̴̛̕͟͡ ́́I̸͢͡F͢͠͏ ̕I̷̴̡ ̧̛́͠͠D̨̕͠O̧͝N̨̕T͝҉ ̡̨̀҉Ģ̶I͢͡҉̴V̡̧͡E̡͘ ̀͢͡Ỳ̴O̕͡҉Ú̶͠ ̴̴̨͜͡M҉̵̴͝O҉N̷̴̡҉͜E̕͜Y͏̸̕͞
“ [people are dying, gerald] “SIR, YOU ARE AT THE WRONG STORE! YOU WANT THE MCDONALDS, NOT THE STARBUCKS…” ”WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUPS STORE?” “H͠͠҉Ę̴̷̨̛L͘L҉̵̧͢Ò̴̸” [even MORE laughter] “I̷̡͢҉̢ ̵̴̡̀͝W̨͜͡Ǫ̨Ú̶̢͢͝L̴̡̨͢͝D̴̨̡̢͡ ̵͢͡͝͏L̷̕̕͟͡I̶̡҉K҉̀Ę͘͠ ͟͏̸̡͘Á͜͞ ́҉̴͢͞B͜͏Ų̵̡̢Ŗ̛G̴̢̛̛E̢̡̨͘͠R̨̨͘ ̧͠l̷̡̀͘l̶̡͞l̸̵͘͢l͘͢l̶̕l̢͘͝l҉̴̛͢l̷̶̡͢l̨͡҉l̸̸̡̕͢l̨̡l͏l҉̴̧l̴͟ĺ̷̢͘l̴̵̛l҉̸l҉̸҉̕ĺ͟l̷̨͞͝͡l̶͝l͠͏͟l̴̀l̶͢l̵̛“ “NO” “holy goooooooooooood” “NO, WE SERVE COFFEE AND, DUTCH DANISHES HERE, JESUS CHRIST!” (transcribed to best ability again) “BOSS? UH, GH, E- I NEED TO GET THE MANAGER” “smiley how much of that did you get?” [echoing] “Ｃ Ｏ Ｍ Ｐ Ｏ Ｕ Ｎ Ｄ” “WHAT?” “sir, do you want to- do you want to speak to the manager?” “he’s ordering from the ether” “he’s ordering a burger-” “Ý͡E̢͟A͏H͘͏̶̴ ̵̶́̕͢C͘A̧͘N̵͟ ̀̀͢͞Í̵ ͏̕G̛͘E̵̛̕͞T̡͡͠͏ ͡҉̡͘͢Ą̸͘ ̸͜F̴̡Ų̷̷̢C҉̷̴̸Ķ͡Į͘N͟͠Ǵ͝҉̷͏ ̶̡U͞H́͜H͜͟͝H͘H̷̨͜͞͡H̢̧́͘Ḩ́͡H̶H̴͠͠“ “NO!” “oh my god” “he’s ordering- he’s trying to order a burger with-” “okay” “-extra, starbucks” [laughter, keyboards] “this s- uh, this discord is wild, wild, [unintelligble]” “it just got a lot hotter in this room” “god, that’s what it’s like working at there, ‘cause i’m like, “hey, what can i get you?” and the person is like, “can i get a fucking uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh coffee.” it’s like “okay, what kind of coffee?” “uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…” and then they order like five different things in a cup and then im there just like-”
Would like to say that I’m animating this in SFM right now for a school project. I’ve listened to the audio hundreds of times working so here’s what I’ve heard at least.
Instead of “DUDE YOU TOOK MY MONEY IF I DON’T GIVE YOU MONEY” I’m hearing “PLEASE THEY’LL TAKE MY WIFE IF I DON’T GIVE THEM IT”
Instead of “DUTCH DANISHES” it’s “CONFECTIONERIES”
“C O M P O U N D” is “C O M E B A C K”
unintelligible is “experience”
Overall, great transcript! Have a screenshot from the animation I’m working on. OOOH MY CARDIAC ARREST!
i’m both glad and mortified that our shitpost is getting this much traction
but more importantly i was the fucker talking in the video with the filter so lemme provide some clarification directly from the source
“WHY ARE YOU KEEPING THIS A SECRET FROM THE PUBLIC” was actually “WHY ARE YOU SUPPRESSING FOOD FROM THE PUBLIC”
other than that, the original transcript is correct, save for adam’s corrections, which got em right
you know i hate tumblrs “i hope they do something problematic” shit so much? its not only with people like thomas sanders or john mulaney or that comic guy with the bike, but with whole ass shows and projects? like nobody ever said b99 is cop propaganda. nobody was saying that until one single person mentioned it and suddenly its the worst show you could watch because of one aspect of their show, while ignoring the shows diversity and political stances.
same happened to dream daddy, like you cant deny that that game was groundbreaking for the lgbt society, but suddlenly some people started shit like ‘uhhh but 5 years ago the game grumps made transphobic jokes’ and ‘you know that joesph is actually a satanist, right?’ and suddenly no one talked about the game anymore?
everytime someone tries their fucking best to be inclusive, diverse etc. people are digging through everything they can find just to justify that they dont like it? overwatch recently hosted a huge event to raise money for breast cancer research in association with the BCRF and without even doing one second of research people accused them of working with the susan g. komen foundation (which wasnt true) and tried to boycott a fucking charity event?
what im saying is, dont let tumblr ruin everything you love because they are bitter
